"Dear Daddy, I write you in spite of years of silence"

So... I played some songs at an imprompto coffee house...poorly, very poorly.
I had to stop in the middle of every song because I forgot the lyrics, as seems to be the case when I perform in front of alot of people. So I feel pretty crappy right now, because I just made a fool of myself, which I suppose is good sometimes but this wasn't one of them.

I am so greatful to the one response that I received to my question. I feel so overwhelmed by the amount of people that care. You are all so worthy to receive this gift of mine.

Behold almost all the lyrics I have written over the past two-three years.
I figure I'm not actually do anything with them...at least not all of them.
I think of myself a bit like Beethoven, only coming up with small bits and pieces at a time, without the patience or direction to put them into something final, so if you can't follow things that's why.

I would like some feedback though on which ones people particularly like.
(and this totally makes up for the lack of posting in the past several months and a nice long distraction for people not wanting to do homework.)

Help Me

All these things I need to get out

All these things that need to be said

I can’t live until I do

Which means I might not be living long

I’m just a scared little boy

In a man’s world

I need somebody to hold onto

When mommy’s gone

I can’t say hello

It troubles me

Something’s wrong with me

(But being around) you makes my day

Makes me say I’ll stay

I just need a way to get out

Say what needs to be said

To somebody

To anybody that will understand

I’m lost here

Can’t you help me

Help me

I can’t say hello

It troubles me

Something’s wrong with me

(But being around) you makes my day

Makes me say I’ll stay

Death of Hannah Means and Aftermath

You left on everyone’s mind

An imprint we couldn’t leave behind

You turned away, said you couldn’t stay

Looking toward the floor and moving to the door

For a moment the stars went out

For a moment there was no doubt

You finally said goodbye

Let live and let die

The next day it was the same way

Scared us all and left your mark

You laughed at us in the blinding dark

For a moment the lights went out

For a moment there was no doubt

Selina’s Poetry(I did not write this)

Do you ever want to run away from your life? Pack your bags Tell no one Leave everyone you love behind. Do you ever wonder who you have become? A stable job A loving partner A life lived to the tick of a clock I lay awake at night Mind charging and pulsing With thoughts of escape Everybody is talking I am listening I know them from the inside They judge me from my outside Small and weak No feeling.

Sleepy hollow 3/4 time

my holiday away has become so grey

when there's a horseman at my side

take the winding way home

past the old log cabin

howling wind inside the beast

hungry for one more win

(Sleepy Hollow)

never know where you're going if you don't know where you are from.

(halloween stuff)

Sundays:

Tiger sprawling in the sun

fast asleep, his day is done

lying here, 'twas warmth he sought

the sun has made his tummy hot

one sad fact he overlooked

his brain is now completely cooked!

Since september it's gotten colder and colder.

There's less daylight now, I've nnticed too.

This can only mean one thing.

(The sun is going out)

In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice.

(Dad says the sun isn't going out.

He says it's colder because the earth's orbit is taking us farther from the sun.)

He says winter will be here soon.

Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth.

Koi (Fish)

Koi is a good name for a band

Crying all alone

sheets, cover blown

don't let your tears hit the ground

they'll find you

if you do

I'll be there for you

cry on my shoulder

take out your anger on me

let me be your punching bag

let me care for you

let me lift you up

look in to your eyes

and share your pain

help it wain

from your memory

affections unreceived

what's the point

i see

good bye

from me

Snow Drifts:

The days are fading away

the days are coming out gray

just take one, go out, lay

Dark Hearts astrew the sea

bleeding on paper, randomly

dark hearts, killing men

killing, killing all they can

they say, no other way

they say, it's the only way

I've searched mountains and the sky, valleys and hills

no fruit was found

but I'm looking for a blue rose

not tainted red by blood

Bloody, Tainted

Red blue

hearts and roses

all for you

When I comprise of this disguise

nothing's going to blow away

last week I confronted my enemy

it was so lovely

maybe again some day

when I a little less lonely

It's a one headlight way

a heart's apocolypse

everybody knows it's wendy

everybody knows it's true

everybody knows it's wendy

everybody knows but you

you turn away when she walks your way

no clue what to do

you're just a shy fool

mixed emotions

my reality and my perception are but a millimeter apart

it's only a backdrop to the rain

I said "how was your day"

I didn't care

just looked away

following your every ramble

nothing ever happens today

A deity finds you alone and shallows you down

fight what you can make them eat you feet to head

don't give them the crown

of having you dead

fingertip thingy

some chorus

I can't say what I wanted to say

when you get near to me

I can't do what I wanted to do

when I see you lookin' this way

The Fracture Hectic

Zeitgeist

Anywhere (Hard to Concentrate sounding)

I can take you anywhere

you could ever want to go

you just say but I don't know

I wait for you on the phone

I know you don't want to be alone

it's something in the air

something flowing through your hair

something I can feel and touch

something for which I care

i walked with my friend we talked around a lake

about the thing we knew and how we each grew

Life goes on

{D}eyes that fill up {?}the ocean

{Cadd9}sound that drowns in {G}the pool

{D}there's nothing left to be {?} taken

{Cadd9}by those that live to be {G}cruel

but life goes on, every day and every night

(Doctor My eyes Bchords)

i use negatives alot

why? there's not that much I've got

hey there dog

he's a friend

i call him calder

he's a friend of a friend of a man

and my friends that I rely on

go on on their own

Can you remember when

we used to walk (by the lake)

the sea

that was glistening

the lake

where I had drowned before

the river

flowing into

the ocean

I told you to jump in

but you looked and turned around

Mad man willie lives upstairs

marked by __________

he's got long flowing brown hair

when he was young he played along

gave it his all and took from none

now he looks back and sees his fault

the role he played, now he runs

The sea out in front

doesn't belong to me

I just need someone to

say that they need me

All the things that I do

All the way that I act

The real one is shining

right on through

I get up and look

I've wasted the day

go back to sleep

hope it's better the next day

BE WISE

be wise

you owe it to your life

and I can't help you if you die

Like'em

Love'em

See'em

It’s just me and my girl

And were going along

If I told you

You would know

And that’s all you need to know

Brooks

Over where herbie used to play

Then he passed away

Down by the brook

Nobody wants me

Nobody ever looks my way

And I just need to yell

“Why don’t you want me”

Just give me a chance

A shot at redemption

It couldn’t hurt if there’s a little romance

Only seen at night under the fiery moon

It shines bright where no other will sonn

It gives off a different heat than other lights

And is put out by the sun to retain its power

The flame is unknown

Therefore feared by the sun

The flame is exhausted

Moments after its glorious birth

It shall never return

Never remembered by any

Never cherished by any

It returns to nothing

Here it comes

The things you do

The things you say

The way you do it all

I only see it one way

You’re not first

You’re not last

You’re somewhere in between

And I can’ see what you mean

Here it comes

Don’t let it go

Don’t miss your chance

Homebound

I sit at home

And I watch the tube

I play my games and I kill the noobs

At Last

How would you feel if we took off our jaws?

And we just sat and looked toward each other

As we sit they’re defying all laws

That limit us to the ground and earth

You would live forever in that fading day

And I would wait for that day to return

So we can live together in our own way

But lives grow as long as the trees burn

Walking down the road to the store

I see you run down the alley

Round the corner by my door

Where you left your only key

I was just on my way

To show my love to you

And ask you to…

I’m seeing you everyday

This is how I will be

I see your picture on the wall

It makes me feel so small

Why aren’t you here

I can’t face this fear

We should always be

(baby just) you and me

I could never be that cool

Never be with you

Never stand by you

I need something for me

Something that can heal

All the pain that I feel

How can I ever be so great

When I don’t have the pain (when I have never had the pain)

When I don’t have the problems (when I have never had the problems)

I’ve got nothing to attain

26 minutes of reflection

I lay down on my bed

The fan turning around my head

I think about the life I’ve lead

And how it’s gone so far

Yearbooks on the shelf with

Pictures of my friends

And there’s one of myself

But there’s nothing about tomorrow

In my corner I cry sometimes

The things to come and what I’ve left behind

How do I know this is right for me

When I don’t know where I want to be

I wish I could go back

And do it all again

Take a few more chances

Make a few more friends

But that’s all over now

Medals put away

And the pictures on display

Calder and family

Pens scattered on the floor

Frantically trying to make amends

For what I did, how I was

Before I go away, today

Is there truly anyway to write

What I mean to say

Either way

You look at him

He looks at you

At this pint

You think to yourself

What do I do

His mouth moves filling the room

The silence lingers like a tomb

You construe in your brain

How this could be true

It never seems possible

Chiseled Eyes

There’s no one by my side

I’m all alone at night

Behold my chiseled eyes lies my chiseled inside

I don’t know what to do

You can see right through me

And the things I do

I don’t mean to do them to you

But I can’t help it

Sometimes these things just happen

That time I opened your door

And saw you standing there

Lamps with no bulbs

Chairs with no seat

Fish bowls with doors

This is where I live

You could live here too

If you wanted to

You can sleep naked year round

With no worries of what they’ll say in town

Ruggage through the trash and find your key

To freedom

I’ll open the door for you if you’ve lost it

You can’t get this back once you’ve left

So embrace it while you can

Fleeting moments in time

Catch them if you can

Echo’s Response

56 12

Make my night perfect

That’s what I need from you

There’s something about the way you walk

Something I saw when you said “I might”

It reminded me why I was here

And it reminded me that no one’s always right

Your biggest fear is the rescue you

The way it should be, yeah

I can take you far away, somewhere you’ve never seen?

Far beyond that of a movie screen

I can take you far away, somewhere you’ve never seen?

Give you more power than any queen

There’s something about the way you look

I see you move in slow motion when you ____

More obvious that something someone knows

Your movements flailing on the ground, ________

My biggest fear is the rescue of you

Strange how it’s the same

I can take you far away, somewhere you’ve never seen?

Far beyond that of a movie screen

I can take you far away, somewhere you’ve never seen?

Give you more power than any queen

Mrs. Young
Unreleased

For three weeks in a row now I have been alone every weekend night. I'm going fucking crazy!
It's 12:15 right now and no one is around. So fuck it. I'm going to start going to parties because regardless of how I feel about drinking it has to be better than this.
(this was actually written last week, lateness given forgiveness to me, yes?)

Saturday Night
Unreleased

Yes or No.
leave a comment and something may happen depending on which gets more!

I never thought the day would come, mainly because...well, it shouldn't happen. My parents confronted me about a certain shirt I had picked up over the last year. "Gay? Fine by me" apperently worried the bejebus out of them. They proceeded to ask why I had the shirt; if I supported gays or was gay. Yes, my parents questioned my sexually orientation based upon a shirt.

LOL

Pink Triangle
Pinkerton

I've never left my life to chance or destiny, but I've recently run into a number of good omens. Fortune Cookies; the one real truth. "Success will come to you soon", "Success will come to you soon", and "You can open many door with a combination of charm and patience". Unfortuneately this means it can only get worse from here.

But on a brighter side "Little Miss Sunshine" is a movie to be seen. It's by far one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. End of Story. Go see it.

Longtime Sunshine
SFTBH

I leave for one night and my home goes to the dogs. I return to find a hideous cow skin rug in the front hall. Like a real cow skin with a brand. And worse it was from Ikea. After trying and failing to try to reason with my family I had only one options, I had to get rid of it. I swear my mom used to have a sense of style but it's pretty obvious that when I leave it follows me. Hiding it seemed the most logical anwser, but after being threatened by my parents to tell them where it was and them hiding my computer and then me taking all the car keys, I figured it was best to give in before they took away my tuition. I still stand by the fact that it's fugly.

I got a new job and am exhausted after only three days. Painting houses isn't that easy but it's still pretty fun; well as much fun as you can have painting houses. I think what I hate about it is the 45 minute commute and the $10 a day it takes to get there and back home.

I found this. I thought it was pretty cool.