"Dear Daddy, I write you in spite of years of silence"

So I had one crazy ass dream last night.
It starts and I'm sleeping outside on a hill leading down to a cliff on an ravine or lakefront. My mom comes and finds me to wake me up commenting how I wasn't already up and the machines weren't pulling their weight, then a small flying machine comes up from the ravine and zooms around and flies off over some houses and stores. She returns inside and I continue to lie on the grass, when out of the sky a fighter plane falls from the sky and skids around the hill almost in a circle and nearly hits me but I jump over the nose of it as it comes toward me. I run to the cockpit to see what had happened to see another fighter plane fly over head, followed by others. I run inside and find a group of people watching TV who are unaware of what just happened, I for some reason know that somebody on the TV know about what has happened so I try to change the channel but can't find the right channel because it keeps skipping channels. The boy with the remote helps and finds a channel with Bush on it, so we watch that, to discover that Bush hadn't a clue as the what was going on. I ran out the the front of the building to the street to find more planes flying overhead, almost dive-bombing the cars on the street and one runs into a car's left back door, and pulls up, soon after a car drives through all the busy traffic scattereing all the cars as they try to get out of the way like it's going the wrong way on the street but it's not. I run down the street but decide to go back to the downed plane and move it close to the building so it can be used as a porch. I decide to look inside the cockpit to find it empty, and look in the glove compartment to try to see who was flying it. While looking through it I find some rather odd things: a superman action figure, notes, homework, legal documents. I seems this person was named Diane Wall, which suprised me because I initailly thought it was a male. Regardless I wanted to let her family know what had happened to her. I also found things implying that she was very smart and very young to be flying a plane. I don't remember anything after that.

Well, I'm off to bed for an early and final final tomorrow morning.

Only in Dreams
Weezer (The Blue Album)

You know what would be cool, if I could talk to people like I see most people talk to each other. And maybe they don't notice it but I do. It seems obvious to me. People talk about things and the other person will talk about it, too, and I'll usually listen to them or a group talking and just listen. And I'm happy like that; I'm just fine not talking alot. That's not the problem, though. The problem is that when I do have something to say I usually still don't say anything; my thoughts being "oh, they don't care about that" or "well, they kinda moved on to a different topic, it'd be weird to just go back to that one". That's what I hate. I know I can be more social and some of the people that know me well know that I can be, but lots of people and people that don't know me so well, or people I just don't say much around, because I don't want to look stupid around them. I want them to like me, so I try not to do stupid things, which in turn means I do nothing and then they don't get to know me and then, guess what, they don't really care about me. Hmm, it's all very complicated. I think I was I little more outgoing and willing to take chances my life would be much better, but I don't so nobody knows how I truly feel and I just live with what comes my way. I need a big change to happen and happen soon. I'm sick and tired of it. Finals being here doesn't help any either.

Sorry if you were you hoping for something funny, but I need to work some things out so until then don't expect much.

I Need Some Touch
Unreleased

Well, tonight I went clubbing at Madison Aveune. A very interesting experinece that shall never happen again; in the words of Inspector Gadget "wowzers, penny, what the hell just happened". That of course is from the uncut version of the show which few ever saw. I suppose it was good to get it out of the way and over with; I can say that I have tried it. Very awkward for me, me being a not touchy-feely person, having somebody "grind" against you for a good twenty minutes. Monica, it was nice to meet you, Diane (whoever the hell you are), how do you know my brother that's five years younger than me. Kelsey, Rocio, Katrina, Rachel and Ariel, I'm looking at you. It was not just an experinece thought, it was also educational. I was able to see how the mating ritual is supposed to happen. The females dance in the middle with the many males sulking around the sides, looking in, selecting their prey, and then they pounce and attach themselves to the female's body, and then they grind and grind and grind and grind and then ask for a phone number and then grind some more. If I ever go back I'm bringing a video camera so I can tape it and send it to National Geographic or Animal Planet.

Sunday was Katrina's Birthday and my first performance of sorts. I played or serenaded a song for the group, "Island in the Sun" by, of course, Weezer, and it's actually playing as I write this. Being my first performance of any kind it was pretty intimidating and pretty much sucked but after that I was much more comfortable and the second time I played it was much better. It's beyond me how Rivers can play guitar and sing at the same time on some of these songs, doing one isn't hard but trying to do both is like trying to "fit a basketball through a bb-gun".

Lastly, at least for tonight, Finals!! They be coming so ye best be prepared. I have one in, well about 56 hours. More to come tomorrow.

The Good Life
Pinkerton

So lots to talk about and no detail will be given. Yup, that's how it goes with me. I think I just have too much to say and not enough short term memory to remember it all at once.

Last Tuesday, I got to go home...yippee!
Last Tuesday was my birhtday...yippee!
Last Tuesday, I got candy thrown at me and silly-stringed three times...not so yippee!
Last Tuesday, I spent five hours on a bus...less yippee!
Last Tuesday, I got no sleep at all...no yippee!
Last Wednesday, I spent four hours driving to Lutsen...not yippee!
Last Wednesday, I saw my grandparents, uncle, aunt and two cousins...total yippee!
Last Wednesday, I froze my ass off on a golf course covered in snow looking for white golf balls...kinda not really yippee!
Last Wednesday, The males won pictionary for the second time in a row, making it the final time it will every be played...yippee! and not yippee! (at the same time)
Last Thrusday, Thanksgiving, food...much yippee! to be thankful for
Last Friday, I returned home and meet my friends from high school...yippee!

I was surprised, not by how much my friends had changed but how much I had changed since last being with them. I was much more open, where I used to be very reserved, mainly concerning my love life, or lack thereof. It was pleasant to find that my friend was in the same position as me; trying to woo a girl who thought of him as a friend and only a friend, from what he knows and has told me, althought apperantly they're much more touchy-feely over at Macalester. I like hearing about this and the trouble of several other friends who had lost their relationship somehow or another. They shall not be mentioned as I am not a gossip who tells people everything about everybody else, quite the opposite am I. On that note, SEVA! I won't be telling you anything more about my life, nothing, not even what I ate for breakfast that day...kidding, but really you; no more talking about people ie. me. I found myself closer to people I wasn't as close to before I left, Rossi and Dan, it was a pleasure seeing you guys again...because I'm sure you'll read this. Oh, extra kuodos to Dan for introducing me to House of Leaves (should be mandatory reading).

Last Sunday, I returned to Madison (with guitar in hand from my birthday)...yet again yippee!
Last Week, school...not yippee!
Tonight, well I suppose a lot happened tonight which I can only hope will never see the light of day but I'm pretty sure it already has. Tonight, I guess you could say, I wasn't quite myself, and no I didn't start drinking, how dare you insinuate that! And that's when we stop talking about it. Anyways my fingers are killing me from my guitar strings. After a few months of not playing my fingers got soft again. They're peeling as I type, ow, and Ben I've been playing a good half hour each day so far, which I think is pretty good, except only one person has actually heard me, Nicki, as she walked by and complimented me. How nice.

Buddy Holly
Weezer (The Blue Album)
This relates to what happened tonight, I hope you never find out.